This is a subject I have avoided for over 70 years. Whether I will ever get to write the whole story or not, I do not know. Some sleeping dogs should be left to sleep, but deep within the soul, something pokes the bear with a stick!

OK. Graham Hitch – Let’s start with Hitch. It has been traced back to Richard Rich, Chancellor of England in the fourteenth century. ‘Bent as a nine-bob note,’ as we used to say regarding all rich people who have lost the power struggle and chosen the road to purgatory.

However, the real story is not Hitch, fascinating though it may be, it is Graham where the real story lies.

“Graham” is a Scottish Clan name and, therefore, a Surname. The correct spelling of the Christian, or forename, is Graeme. I was a dirty little wartime bastard. My dad was in Burma chasing the Japanese while mum was screwing the Lord of the Manor in the Highlands of Scotland. It must have been quite a shock for him to come home after two years in the steamy jungles of Burma to snow, ice, and a six-month-old son!

Arrangements were made, and Dad agreed to put his name as my father on the birth certificate, providing recompense was duly paid. As a final dig, he spelled my name as Graham, causing great concern and anguish for his Lordship.